Being a military spouse is never easy. I know, because I am one. When a spouse is deployed, the other has to keep everything going. When children are involved, this becomes increasingly more difficult.
When a parent gets deployed, children have a piece of them that is missing. A vital person in their life is gone and they don’t understand why. Being a military spouse is difficult, but being a military child is just as hard. Here’s just a few ways that your child may be impacted – and how you can help them overcome their struggles!
Sleeplessness
When there’s someone missing from your household, both you and your children can be expected to have trouble sleeping. It’s almost inevitable that at some point, a child will have a fear of the dark or a fear of monsters under their bed. They will have nightmares. When these fears surface, they want to run into their parents’ room and jump into bed with them. Suddenly, something is different. Their safe place has been disrupted. This amplifies their normal stressors and fears. It’s common for military families to struggle with sleeplessness when someone is deployed. Know that you’re not alone and that in time, it can get easier.
Separation Anxiety
Anxiety is the most common disorder in military children. When one parent is missing, children may overcompensate by becoming overly attached to the parent that is still home. They’ll be clingier when you drop them off at school. They’ll want to sleep with you every night. Everywhere you go, they go. This anxiety doesn’t just go away, either. Anxiety can cycle in people and become a learned response to stress. Even when both parents are home, the children may not fully recover because they’ve used anxiety as a coping mechanism – and it sticks with them. Studies show that up to 30% of children will experience an increase in anxiety after a parent is sent away on deployment. There will be problems. There will be changes in behavior. And that’s okay.
Health Problems
With anxiety and sleeplessness comes a decrease in overall health. Your child might express frequent physical complaints, like headaches and stomachaches. This is in direct correlation to the increase in anxiety that they’ve been experiencing and their inability to properly manage it. Luckily, when you help your child learn manage the anxiety, these health problems should begin to settle.
What Can You Do?
It’s exhausting to play the role of both parents. It’s hard to be without your partner, but you can’t focus on yourself when your children are dependent on you. Their sleepless nights become your sleepless night. Their anxiety becomes your anxiety. You need rest. You time to process the situation. You need time to breathe. But your children need you. So, what can you do to make it better for both you and your children?
Talk to them about their fears. The simple act of just saying the thing that scares them takes a huge burden off their shoulders. It also helps us as parents not just want to dismiss their fears, but to really listen to them and let them be heard. I created the first Brave Knight after listening to my son tell me his fears.
Fear and anxiety are expected to amplify when a parent is gone. By listening and understanding your child’s fears, you can help your children process their emotions. When the burden becomes too much to carry, Sir William the Brave Knight was designed to help you help your children. It was the solution my family desperately needed to help our children sleep through the night and control their worries.
Sir William the Brave Knight can give you some real insight into what your child fears. He can bring confidence and self-esteem back to your child. He can be their friend to take with them on new adventures. He can be a protector to watch over them as they sleep even when their favorite protector is working hard many miles away.
Each night, say this wish with your child: “Brave Knight, sleep tight, please guard me all through the night.” You’ll be amazed by the peace it can bring. Being a military spouse is hard. Being a military child is hard. Sir William is there for the whole family.
Want to know more? Read about the effects that deployment can have on the entire family unit here.
