Our attention goes where our energy flows.
Have you ever heard that saying? It’s true, our attention and focus really shapes where our energy flows. As parents, we need to be mindful of our attention and energy when it comes to our children. Right now, our attention may be on so many different things and our energy may feel unfocused. Our children are certainly feeling this, too. Encourage your child and offer them positive reinforcement to help them be their best and overcome these obstacles. Here’s just a few tips to help you encourage your child to be their best, especially in these complex times.
Set up Positive Reinforcements
In school, positive reinforcements are widely used to acknowledge a job well done. If the class is all sitting down and quiet when the teacher comes in, they might get to put a marble in a jar in an effort to fill that jar and get a reward. A sticker board is another common reward system. These fun games are actually important forms of encouragement that are now missing from their lives as they practice distance learning. We are now more than just parents to our children – we are a crucial part of their educational experience. Creating positive reinforcements like their teacher would is a fun activity that will help your child be their best self, in and out of school.
Remember That Timing is Everything
Encouragement is received best when it’s given close to the event you are trying to encourage. If your child is struggling to sit up and pay attention to the online class meeting and you see them sitting up and interacting even for a few minutes, take that opportunity to move a marble for her or give her a sticker for her chart. The positive reinforcement is not as effective if it is done hours or days later. See the effort and immediately recognize it.
Reward Effort, Not Achievements
Everything doesn’t always work out, and that’s okay. Encourage your child by praising the effort, not just the achievement. Encouragement can and should come at times of failure. The effort is what they can control and what will help them do better in the future. Offering kind words that acknowledge their effort will lead to an increase in their self-esteem. In a situation where a child works hard for something and their effort is acknowledged and recognized, it will help drive their intrinsic motivation to succeed.
Be a Bucket Filler
Find something positive for your child each day. In this new life we are living today, there are plenty of ups and downs. Still, no matter what, there can be something positive in every single day. Point out any small positives to your children. Ask them if they can think of any others. You can be a bucket filler, keeping them uplifted, by encouraging them even when they have had a hard day. This is important in helping your child do and feel their best, even when things are difficult, and help them push through the bad.
Remember That Words Are Powerful
Negative words and positive words both carry a great weight. Using words of encouragement will help improve their belief in themselves. Right now, our children are being asked to be more self-motivated and independent. This can be hard if your child has anxiety or is shy and not self-assured. If you see them accomplishing something that is difficult for them recognize that and give a positive reinforcement.
Consider the Changes in Their Life
Remember how much their focus has changed. Normally, children sit facing the teacher and can focus on only one person. Now they are looking at all their peers and their peers are looking at them. This can be very nerve wracking for some children and very distracting. This change is hard for them. Place notes with encouraging messages in their workplace will remind them that they can do this. Be patient with them. You might need to encourage your child more than you normally would need to.
Behavior is influenced by the consequences that follow it. So, if a praise or a word of encouragement comes after a behavior, then you will most likely see that same behavior again from your child. Words of encouragement can improve children’s belief in themselves and give them the confidence and determination they’ll need in the future. If our attention goes where our energy flows, then give more positive attention to your children and experience more positive energy around you.
